[MilehighDad]

I'm not sure exactly how it happens, but I know for me that committing to our kids was like being hit by a semi truck doing 80. It was over that quick and about as easy to stop. It just hit me that this was my kid, and I had to take care of them, period.

Oh, and it happened when I first saw our youngest and held her in my arms. But, we had only known she existed for a few hours. It happened weeks before we met our oldest, but we had made the match and it was going forward. It happened for our middle daughter the first time I saw her picture on a photolisting. We had no more assurance that we would ever meet her than the president of the US. It also happened for a girl we know and intended to adopt, but never were allowed to. That one hurts every time i see her. And, it was the same for my boys, but it was the first time I felt them kick in my wife's belly.

It was never that I was sure it was the right choice, the whole world just changed at that moment and made them my child and my responsibility, without any room for doubt or hesitation. I'm sorry that this may not help you, and I understand and feel for you that it may not happen that way for you. But, if it does, you won't need to ask, because you'll just know.

You may need to be far enough along that you feel safe that you won't lose them. It is an uncertain, unfamiliar, and risky process to adopt a child from foster care. Your heart may recognize that and protect itself. But, your heart is the one thing your child will need the most, and I hope that giving it will come naturally and easily. If it doesn't, you won't be the first to struggle with that, but you will need to keep working at it because it will be worth it in the end.

I hope you have a short wait and get to bring your kids home soon.