[sak9645]

Do be aware that some foreign countries will not place with large families. As an example, both Korea and China have family size requirements; with China, they are occasionally waived for people adopting children with significant special needs. Therefore, if there's any chance that a foreign born child will come home AFTER you take custody of your family members' children, be very sure that the foreign country is OK with the idea.

Remember that, even if you haven't finalized, you will need an updated homestudy if the children come to live with you before your Asian child comes home. This updated homestudy will need to address things like your financial resources, medical insurance, ability to pay for educational and other support if the children need special arrangements, home size, and so on. The USCIS may also need to be sure that you meet the income requirements needed to be approved to immigrate an adopted child from overseas, which are based on family size.

And do consider whether you can meet the possible needs of both an internationally adopted child and the children of your relative. The older a child is at the time of adoption, the more likely it is that he/she will have issues arising from negative life experiences; still, even babies may have problems.

Do you know, for example, whether ANY of the children were exposed prenatally to alcohol or drugs? Prenatal exposure to alcohol -- common in both domestic and international adoptions -- can leave a child with lifelong and sometimes serious problems, such as learning disabilities, impulsive behaviors, inability to understand cause and effect, and so on. Prenatal exposure to drugs can also have long term consequences, depending on the drug and the frequency of birthmother drug use.

Personally, I am all in favor of large families -- IF a family can truly afford to support a lot of children and obtain plenty of outside help. As you already know, raising kids is expensive. And if you have to struggle to make ends meet, it can be extremely draining. Having a lot of children, especially young children, really requires that you have the resources to get help when needed -- someone to clean the house occasionally, someone to drive kids to different activities, someone to take at least some of the kids so that you can get a haircut or deal with your own case of flu, etc.

Sharon