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Originally Posted by DrGrabow
Thanks! That gives me more hope. I am trying to keep my expectations low so I won't be disappointed. As I said, my son is very loving. I just know that he does not have any idea of perminance. The idea of being a big brother will likely sound great at first - but once reality sets in - that may be another story.
Of course, this is the same adjustment that all kids go through when they are adjusting to a new sibling.
I guess what scares me most is that I know that my son will change because of this. And I kind of think he's pretty perfect now. And knowing that this will cause a big change may make me feel responsible/guilty for that change.
But honestly, God has been so wonderful to my family, I have no cause to doubt him. I know he will be gracious to us again.
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You know...your son may surprise you and become that big brother figure for her which she needs. And some change is good...as long as you make it positive for him. Maybe schedule "Mom and Me" time with each child where you take one of them out for icecream or for a walk or to the park (just the 2 of you) and then do it with the other child the next week. That way they feel like they have equal "mom and me" time with you. We do that with our girls when we brought our niece here. I too was worried because our bio daughter was 13 at the time and she was the only child.
Just love her and show her stability. If you can get her into therapy if you think that will help her. It's going to be hard on her going to a totally new place with totally new rules/parents. Just think of how you would feel (rejected/alone) if that happened to you. You may have 2 steps back and 1 step forward for awhile (depending upon how she adjusts) so be patient. Let her know it's "OK to grieve" if she needs to and let her show her emotions if she needs to.
Maybe put together a picture book of your home, neighborhood, your son, etc...and bring it with you to show her where she'll be living, etc...
Let us know how it goes!