[JJemail1]

Hi Joei,

Yes, the mother can technically identify you as a resource. Now here's the tough talk: in my experience, addicts are never reliable so I wouldn't sit around waiting for her call. On the other hand, it will be good for you to prepare in case you do get that call.

Basic things to know about drug/alcohol exposure: one can't say with any amount of certainty how badly a baby will be impacted by drug and/or alcohol exposure until symptoms of such exposure/addiction surface (ranging from newborn symptoms of withdrawal syndrome and/or neurological problems to later problems with feeding problems, heart defects, global delays, etc.). A baby could fare surprisingly well, or controversially, have severe Fetal Alcohol Syndrome from only "a few drinks" of alcohol during the span of a pregnancy. The factors are too difficult to isolate for obvious reasons so official research doesn't really exist. In other words, it's always a gamble. Therefore, if you hope to take in this baby, you must do so with the knowledge that severe medical, cognitive and/or behavioral issues may present themselves at some point in the child's life. (Just because a baby appears normal at birth does not completely rule out the potential for severe problems in the future.)

Secondly, while you can be appointed as a caregiver without an official Resource Family license, you will eventually have to get one; certainly if you adopt.

Another element to consider is, if the child is born with medical problems, he will likely have to go to a SHSP home (Special Home Service Provider). SHSP homes are required to provide round-the-clock care for children. SHPS providers are not allowed to work fulltime unless there are two parents who are able to alternate shifts (which is what my husband and I did--me working by day and caring for baby at night and vice versa). SHSP homes are expected to keep meticulous daily records, facilitate the standard two (2) DYFS visits in the home per month (resource family worker, child's caseworker) as well as quarterly visits by an assigned nurse practitioner). They must also facilitate transportation to any Dr.'s appointments the child stands in need of AS WELL AS ANY VISITATION WITH BIOLOGICAL PARENTS. (SHSP children are required to have a CPR-certified person with them at all times.) SHSP foster parents are allowed 10 hours per week of "alternate care" by a pre-determined and contracted licensed facility or individual.

In other words, if this is looking like a real possibility, you should assess your limitations in advance and, to be safe, probably attempt again to be licensed ASAP.

As always, best wishes to you!
Jennifer