[stacie25]

I'm not angry at his bio mom. I neither like her nor dislike her. She has always been very friendly to me at visits, and I to her. When my husband first talked about this, my thought was "that is done to honor someone that is a great person. i wouldn't want to be named after someone who lives that kind of life and lost me." I know that she loves him, she did try to get him back for a while, and she is part of him. I told my husband I wouldn't have a problem with this if his parents died and he went into foster care or if his mom was young and decided to give him up for adoption, but she had him taken away from her. But addictions are hard to break and not breaking those doesn't mean she doesn't want him. I do have a coldness towards bio parents who lose their children due to abuse or addiction. God gives us children to take care.

Something I was told at our last training class has made me change my mind a bit.....we were talking about the grieving process children go through when adopted. I knew children went through this as I saw it in a friend's adopted children who are school age. Another foster parent said she was told her infant adopted son would grieve the loss when he was older. She thought that was silly since her son didn't know any different and never knew his bio family. She was wrong and he did grieve as he got older and really understood what had happened. I do know that children want to be with their parents no matter how bad their parents are. Our bio mom gave our son a toy truck and I figure it will be something he will treasure when he is older and maybe having her middle name is something he will treasure too. I have to look at this from his point of view, not mine.