Do you know the reasons they don't want to adopt? My oldest son is 10 years old. We recently were placed with my FS sister for adoption. My oldest has had to help a lot more with her here (not with her necessarily, but household things). He has more responsibility now. That is what he doesn't like. He loves our FD, but given a choice he would rather not have her here. I think more responsibility is GOOD for him, not bad. But to a 10year old more "work" is not good. My point is, they may have reasons for not wanting to adopt that you haven't "pulled" out of them yet. Do they want more alone time with you? Have you stopped doing things that you used to do (eating out, watching movies)? Do they have more chores now? These are things my boys have had the problem with (not the child necessarily). So, I have scheduled time alone with them and really try to take them to the zoo, park, beach, etc. as much as possible.
Bottom line, they shouldn't make the decision for the family. They are kids and don't see the entire picture. It is your decision but also your responsibility to make it as gentle as possible for them.
