[mommy2fiveplus]

My parents foster many children for the last 20 or so years, I have 2 biological siblings. Following TPR on one of the placements they were asked to adopt and I desperately wanted tehm to do so. However my little sister (age 10 at the time) and brother (age 13 at the time) did not want to adopt him. They were still grieving a lost foster child from years before that we were supposed to adopt. They thought they had not bonded to this child because they loved the previous one so much and did not want him to take the other child's place. I know the reasons are different and we had had the boys for years not only a month. But my parents did not adopt him and within 3 mos of his placement into another home for adoption, they regretted it terribly. They miss him to this day and and suffer guilt from thier choice. My mother regrets having placed so much responcibility in the hands of children. She feels like thier guilt is partly her fault. We all miss the boy.

Our situation is not the same but in a year if you still have him it may be similar. Please remember these are children even if they are teens and they may make decisions without the thinking of long term consequences. I applaud you for considering thier feelings however.