|
jenc: We are basically in the same boat as you. However, we have been picked - twice - and both mothers decided to parent. The first time was a whirlwind, but the second time we really got involved with the birthmother and it really seemed it was going to happen. Emotionally that was a little harder because a part of e expected that we would have a baby this summer. But, we are still waiting for our baby.
sugar and spice: You referred to very open as being one visit a year. While it is not for everyone, we call every few weeks and visit probably 4-6 times a year, definitely for birthdays and holidays. I think there is a very wide continuum of communication possibilities.
It is funny that you bring this up too because we have been told that we might end up in a situation where we have less openness with the birthfamily. From our end of the spectrum, semi-open (with pictures and letters sent periodically by us) seems virtually closed. It is interesting seeing the two sides of the same coin.
My biggest problem is that my family really did not like seeing my pain when this match did not turn into a placement. I feel less support from them now when it comes to our agency and even adoption in general. I have people encouraging me to look elsewhere, which does not make any sense financially.
I think we are where we are for right now- but I have said if Christmas comes around and we are still waiting something might have to change.
__________________
|