[rd200]

I am a working mother also. i have a 7 year old son and am waiting for a match also. My SW said to me when i was doing our profile that we should mention if i was going to be a SAHM. i am planning on taking"maternity leave" for like 2 months after we get our baby, but other than that, i am planning on working full time yet or maybe part time if i can still pay the bills. But anyways, she insisted that even if i wasnt sure if i would continue to stay home, taht i should at least put down that its being considered cuz emoms generally will pick an AMOM whom stays home over one whom works. I siad, No, i'm going to put that i will stay home for 2 months and after that we will see what happens and that i what i put.

at our educational classes for our adoption we had birthmother come and talk about their adoption experiences and whatnot and 2 out of 3 said, they were NO WAY going to pick someone whom wasnt going to stay home with the baby cuz they could just as well keep their baby if it was just going to be in Daycare all the time. That pissed me off!!! Some of us HAVE TO work. there isnt a choice on whether we CAN stay home. If i want to adopt, i have to work! simple as that. if i want to send my children to college and retire someday I HAVE TO work. I just dont get why some people think its okay to put down a mother for working. Traditionally, yes, the mother stayed home and took care of the kids, and did the housework and all, but that has changed drastically.

My babysitter is the most wonderful person ever. My son loves going there. he gets so much attention and socialization. he has been there since he was 6 months old and i wouldnt have done anything different. if i hadnt continued to work, we would never beable to afford to adopt right now. Nor the infertility treatments we did. I personally know i wouldnt be a good SAHM. i dont have the patience nor the passion to be home all day. Its just not for everyone.

My SIL is a SAHM. SHe does absolutely NOTHING during the day. Barely Watches her kids, not less actually does anything constructive with them. They are 6, 4, and a 4 month old. Her house is absolutely disqusting, and yet she complains to me that she is over -stressed, has NO money, and pretty much cant stand her kids anymore. Everytime i talk to her i want to say... GET A JOB!! but she doesnt want to work, and she can hide behind the I'm a SAHM because then no one really questions why she doesnt get anything done EVER or why she doesnt work. (i'm not saying that all SAHM's do this, just her) She should NOT be a SAHM. in this case her kids would benefit from daycare probably. SOme people are just not cut out for it. My other girlfriend has a 4 yr old and a 7 month old. SHe works 2 days a week, her hubby works 7 days a week, and she is the best SAHMom i know. SHe does stuff everyday with her kids and she is very fortunate that her hubby works so hard so she CAN stay home with them. And she appreciates every minute she can be with them. Two totally different people and situations. No one thing fits all!!

I work on a farm, full time, maybe a bit more in the summer months and i have to come home and make supper everynight, do laundry, help with homework, do arrends, grocery shop, keep the house in order, and keep my gardens looking good, and everything else that i cant even think of right now. and i wouldnt change it for a minute. I love my son VERY much, but we would probably drive each other crazy if i were home all day. i need to be doing something ALL the time. for me, i think i would become a bit lazy if i stayed home because i can do everyting i need to do NOW with working 40+ hours that is i stayed home, i would have so much free time, i would just sit in front of the TV and get Fat!! I'm talking about myself of course, not anyone else.
Its such a touchy subject because there are so many decisions and opinions on what's best but when people say to me, Oh, you dont stay home with the kids?? i say, No, someone's gotta pay for college! No one really says much after that cuz they kinda feel like an idiot. No one can tell you there is wrong way or a right way, its whatever is best for you and your kids. Rach