|
I married my husband when my sons were 12. It's a really rough age to enter marriage-- they were just starting puberty, and even though they were cool with getting a father who they thought was a pretty nice guy, they did end up giving us a run for our money. It's pretty much a God thing we didn't divorce. I think it may be harder for sons of women to accept a new dad than for sons of dads to accept new moms though. When my husband started disciplining them and acting like dads do, they decided they didn't need one. The new son I got in the marriage warmed up to me really well; he was very quickly all about having a mom. Your son may very well warm up to your fiance, but I'd do as you are, with counseling, and also gradually have her spend more and more time with him. If she's a warm loving person with him, he may find he loves having a snuggly mommy. My (stepson) old as he was, would get in my lap all the time, cling to me when I had to leave, even want me to hold him (at age 9). My adoptive son, age 12 but little for age, loves to jump into my arms and have me hug and kiss him. Even though he's such a tough guy and been through so much. Trusting her will take time, but you're looking at a lifetime thing. Best wishes.
|