[Drywall]

Digger...I wish I had more help to offer...what you are describing is very common in states where records are sealed. Those supposedly close to the information are unwilling to become involved. They are unsure of the amount of information that can be released and as a result play the hide and seek game. Under some judges, interpretation of the law can be very strict, others, less restrictive.

I would suggest, for your evaluation, that you talk to someone in your area who knows, or has had some experience with an attorney familiar with adoption.

It is understood that you are not interested in legal intervention now. Having said that, it may be possible for you to have ONLY a consult with an attorney. Many attorneys provide a free consult with the hope that the case may go further.
As a result, it may be possible to gain some legal guidance.

Many states publish adoption laws and spell out what types of information can be obtained. Armed with that information, you may be able to overcome some hurdles.

I wish you the best.