[kakuehl]

My adoption was closed. I spent almost 33 years wondering if he was even alive. When I found him I rejoiced that he was living. I located his parents first and they told him, I was looking. Apparently he expressed some anger to them that "[i] had walked out of his life and needn't think [i] could just walk back in again." He has never expressed that to me. In fact our relationship is very comfortable now.

There are no guarantees about what will happen. I'm not sure if anyone else can completely understand our reasons, etc. although they may come close. Be prepared to love your bchild unconditionally regardless of what happens. And try to live your life now as fully as you can. As always, worrying about the future doesn't help!