Jason18, welcome to the boards! First of all, let me say I think it's great that you are so supportive of your gf and taking an active role in deciding what is best for you, her and your daughter-to-be. So many of us did not have the support from the fathers of our children and were instead left to deal with everything on our own.
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we dont want the baby to know we're the birthparents, but want to be in her life- and want to be godparents
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I'm curious as to why you would not want the baby to know you are her birthparents. I think secrets like this are not healthy, and have a way of coming to the surface eventually anyway. And if your attorney and potential adoptive parents are against this, I think it is with good reason. Years ago, adoption was practiced this way, when secrecy and lies were the order of the day. Now, I don't know anyone who consideres it to be in the child's best interest to hide or lie about who the birthparents are, or to pretend that the adoptive parents gave birth to the child. I would honestly reconsider your approach here. I could be mistaken, but I really don't think you will find ethical people in this day and age who will agree to do an adoption this way. Unethical, yes, but you wouldn't want that for your baby!
As for what you ultimately decide to do (i.e. parent or place your child for adoption), I think it needs to be your decision. I know it is difficult to get input from extended family on what they feel is best, but ultimately it is between you and your girlfriend and what the two of you, as parents of this child, feel is in her best interest. Only you know what you can handle in terms of parenting her. I would, however, explore parenting, explore ALL your options, and know what sources of support are available should you decide to parent your child. You and/or your girlfriend may be dead set on adoption but after your child is born, you may have a change of heart and decide to raise her. That is perfectly OK to change your mind! In fact, I would explore both options simultaneously, and not necessarily make a firm decision one way or another before birth, because you will need to re-visit your decision after you see your baby and hold her. You're feelings may very well change and you want to be in a position where you know what kind of support you will have in place if you choose to parent.
Are you receiving any sort of counseling right now? It would be helpful if both you and your gf got some unbiased counseling to help you with your decision and also with how to handle other family members. I believe whatever you decide, it should be your decision, as you have to live with it. If you are pressured by others either way (to parent or to place) that is not a good thing.