[anilorak13ska]

Thanks again for your reply. You are right, I was thinking in much more narrow terms regaring "belonging". As I read your description of the more community-centered sense of belonging among Muslims, I knew exactly what you meant from the time I've spent with my Muslim friends. It is true, that for me as a non-Muslim, adoption cannot have the same meaning because my child will not have the sort of community-belonging you describe. Not because I wouldn't want it that way, but because that is unfortunately not the "world" that I live in. So I am glad I asked and you answered, bc it shows that there's no one correct answer, but really a matter of different experiences and expectations.

And as you say, having been adopted yourself, that experience has certainly also influenced how you look at the whole concept of adoption. I will never be able to have the sort of insight you do because I grew up with my biological parents. It is good to be reminded of this for the children's sake - as you say. It is their best interest that I also have at heart, so I cannot presume to know how they will feel about having been adopted.

I do want to just say one thing in my defense, bc perhaps I may have been misunderstood. My desire for my children to feel that they belong in my family comes from a desire for THEIR wellbeing, not mine. I know how it feels to not know if you belong, to feel alone and isolated, and I want to do everything I can to prevent or lessen that in my children.

But it appears that we'd be comparing apples with oranges trying to fit my best intentions into the context of adopting within the Muslim community, and vice versa.

Thanks again for your instights. I found our exchange quite helpful