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With the younger girls (2 and 5 when they came home) I was mom almost immediately. My oldest dd, was 10 when she came home to us. She called me by my first name when talking to me. In a few months she started calling starting saying "my mom" when talking about me, but wouldn't call me mom. After about 2 years, it started to seem more and more ridiculous. We don't let them refer to other adults by just their first name. I finally told her she could either call me mom or Miss (my name). She started calling me mom. It wasn't an issue I was willing to push until I knew we were established in a relationship, but eventually it did start to seem disrespectful to just call me by my first name. I at least deserved the respect she gave other adults. Once given that choice she quickly decided to call me mom.
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