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Jennasmom,

I read this when you posted it, but wasn't sure what to say. It's just an overwhelming situation to read about, much less live it!

Her parents totally confuse me. Telling you she was dead is about the most cruel, inhumane and outrageously malicious thing I've ever heard in adoptionland. How they've handled the reunion that they thrust on you changes every day. I think they're doing whatever they think suits their purpose the most, whatever the current purpose may be. In fact, that sounds a bit like Jenna and might be why she seems to live on impulse and pursuit of her own ends even if it flies in the face of greater principles like kindness, respect, compassion, truth, etc. She's had a lot of years of learning that.

To be honest, I remain concerned for you and very concerned for the daughter you raised and your other kids. I think this reunion has been hell and heaven for you, but it sounds like it's been one harmful thing after another after another for your raised daughter and your other kids. I just don't think it's a good idea to have contact between them at all right now, especially while Jenna is so unstable and self-centered.

It appears that Jenna has major issues that may or may not ever resolve and I hope that you are getting therapy and have a strong support system to keep you sane as you hang in there with her and attempt to maintain a relationship with her. I respect how committed you are and how giving you have been with regards to her. I believe you are giving of yourself in every way possible, hoping to help heal her hurts and feel assured of your love.

I have to admit though, I cringe every time I read another incident where she has been harmful to your other kids. I don't understand why you are allowing contact there at all. I remain concerned for you always.

God Bless you. Keep coming here. We care about you.