[fritzi]

This post definately struck a chord with me. I was adopted as an infant and I have adopted 3 children when they were 4, 6, and 11. They remember their birth parents (who neglected them terribly).
Our society puts alot of emphasis on birth moms being the "real" mom. My birth mom gave birth to me, and for that I am forever grateful. My real mom took me to the dentist, taught me how to wash myself, fed me, played with me, tolerated me through horrible teenage years, sent me to college, was there every step of the way through it all. As I am for my kids-the good, the bad, and they ugly.
Please do not disrespect and diminish the profound role your daughter's mother has played in her life. She is her real mom (as real as you are) and should influence her. And her feelings should be important to her daughter.
I know that there is enough room in my heart for my mom as well as my birth mom, should I ever meet her. As there is room for all the moms in my kids life, should they choose to reunite with their birth mom.
You undoubtably gave up your child because it was the best choice for her. It is absolutely a most loving and selfless act.
Adoptive moms do loving and selfless acts each and every day of their children's lives.
peace,
Fritzi