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I think what is hard is that with grief, it can ebb and flow. And we can be alright for a while, and then something stirrs us up (like that dream you had) and all of a sudden those old feelings come rushing back. It's not that we haven't healed or "moved on" but that it's being revisited for whatever reason. It is probably best to allow yourself to just go through that grief process, because the alternative would be to bottle it all up and that is definitely not good.
I think, too we can drive ourselves crazy with all the "what ifs" and "what would it have been like if...." What if I had kept my son and tried to raise him, what would it have been like to see him as a youngster and guide his growth, etc. We cannot know for sure. We can only imagine, but those thoughts can also make us crazy. I try to put my mind on other things or focus on the present otherwise I'll just be spinning these scenarios in my head over and over again. It can be terribly draining.
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