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A few things that really stuck in my mind that helped me in the early days were..
1. fake it til you make it (feelings towards child or not feeling you are bonding...keep at it and don't feel guilty about it if it isn't instantaneous)
2. Might not be "normal" to others, but it's YOUR normal and that's okay. (I needed this reminder to help me stop comparing milestones or experiences with others.)
3. Structure, routine and consistency were key for us that first year.
4. Baby steps are HUGE and you mentally celebrate those!
5. Use your support system
I 2nd "Adopting the Hurt Child" and I also liked the Toddler's Adoption, The Weaver's Craft. A bit dry in some parts but insightful. Even if you adopt a 5 year old, it can be helpful since they likely might not be 5 emotionally.
Congrats on your journey to parenthood!:0)
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Mom to 4 fun loving kids (adopted from foster care)
7 years into our forever family! 
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