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Originally Posted by GretyC
My mother was sent out of state to live with her aunt and not allowed to speak to my father during her pregnancy.
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You know, there were so many people back then that decided FOR you that you weren't good enough to take care of a child, and they decided that the father of the child was some kind of terrible person that you shouldn't be able to talk to about his child. And, they decided that you needed to hide away so that they weren't embarrassed by you and your child.
The language above just sums that up. "mother was sent" "not allowed to speak" - but everyone still has this notion that we bmom's "chose" to lose our child to adoption and the bdad's just "walked away" scot free. It wasn't like that at all. Outward appearances look like that, but that was all it was - an outward appearance manufactured by those closest to us so that they would either not be ashamed or exposed.
It takes a long time to right that wrong. I am so glad to see bdad's here expressing their feelings, which were largely ignored or rejected so long ago.