Hi! What you are feeling is normal. It is called the grieving process. After giving up parental rights of a child, you experience greiving, just like when someone dies. The pain is very deep. And what makes it even harder is the fact that we did it. My advice to you is, if you are a christian, put your son in God's hands. And of course counseling is a real good idea, it will help you understand what your feeling. You are actually in a better situation then most, because you know your son is with a loving mother. You know where he is too. That would be a tremendous comfort to me. Another thing is if his mother is kind enough to send you pictures of him every year, than you can bet she will tell him all about you when he's grown.
