[sak9645]

It sounds to me as if you are doing GREAT.

Children are great teachers, and if you are well bonded with them, they will communicate their needs and wants.

Your child recognizes when he is sleepy and wants to go to bed. He may love rocking, but when he is really tired, he may value the peace and quiet of his crib. Kids have favorite sleep habits, and it sounds as if you have a child who prefers a nice quiet bed to the movement of a rocker. And if he doesn't have words, he'll tell you so with crying or body language.

Your son is not afraid of his room, or of being alone. That is a great tribute to your parenting, if he can sleep alone after two weeks with you and only one week at home, without worrying that you will leave or that he will suddenly find himself back at the orphanage. The fact that he wants you to pick him up and play with him during the day suggests that bonding is OK, and that he's not just doing the orphanage routine thing.

If your son really wants to go to bed without an elaborate rocking routine, fine. Create some new bonding routines or increase the length of existing ones.

Do some rocking before bathtime, while you show him pictures in a book, instead of after bathtime when he is going to bed. Cuddle time is good ANY time when it happens. In fact, some kids really like a good cuddle and some rocking before they have breakfast; it helps them transition between sleep and wakefulness.

If he doesn't object and it doesn't conflict with your feelings about parental nudity, hop into the bath with him and wash him that way. You can both play with the tub toys!

And now that it's getting warm out, take him to a pool that has either a zero depth entry or wide stairs or a toddler area, and hold him on your lap while you both enjoy the water. Water is great for promoting bonding.

Carry him as much as he'll let you, but recognize that he does need and want time to practice crawling, cruising, or walking -- whatever stage he's at.

Feed him as often as he'll let you, making lots of eye contact, but recognize that kids of his age are going to want plenty of practice self-feeding and enjoying the feel of textured foods in their hands, as well as their mouth. Perhaps he can feed you a cracker, and you can feed him a spoonful of yogurt -- feeding each other is great for bonding.

Get down on the floor a lot. Play lots of games where you roll a ball to your child and he tries to roll it back. Hide objects in a pot with a lid, while he is watching, and let him enjoy "finding them" by removing the lid. Look at him and giggle with him.

Play lots of mirror games, and a lot of games where you have to look at each other. "Where's Mommy's nose? Where's Baby's nose?"

In the warm weather, if your child is going to be outside, you'll want to use plenty of sunscreen. So make it a bonding exercise. Massage the sunscreen into arms and legs and back, almost as if you were doing baby massage. Let him put a little sunscreen on your legs.

Get your son involved in making funny noises with you. Make a "raspberry" sound, and see if he tries to imitate it. Point to the picture of a dog and say "WOOOF" and see what he does. And so on.

Just about everything you do, all day, can be structured to promote bonding. So just because your son wants to fall asleep in a crib, don't think that you can't develop a deep and secure attachment.

Also, remember that, with children, sleep habits change on a regular basis. For a couple of weeks, your child may insist on falling asleep alone, and may sleep soundly all night.

Then, just when you think you're blessed with an easy kid, he'll insist on rocking and scream when you try to put him in his bed. Or he'll wake up every two hours and want to be held. Or he'll refuse to go near the crib and want to sleep in your bed. The one thing that's predictable is that he will change, over and over.

Sharon