[MilehighDad]

Our meeting with our two older daughters was much like this, because our match and their placement was a done deal. I'm glad you're making a scrapbook, because that was critical for us to have something to introduce us. We had the workers give the girls the scrapbook first. Then, when we met we brought a photo book with lots of pictures we could just flip through and talk about.

Our line was simple - "Hi, we're going to be your Mom and Dad." We also found a time to tell them that if they wanted to call us Tania and Robert for a while that was fine, but that we just looked at them as our daughter and we would introduce them as "this is our daughter."

The first day meeting, we just worked at talking about what our family was like and trying to get them talking a bit.

Most of all, please don't set the goals for your new daughter too high. She is going to be emotional and difficult for a very long time after moving in. I think the difference between successful older child placements and ones that fail is often related to whether or not the parents can offer unconditional love and acceptance. I think the kids are always struggling and almost always hard to parent for a while as a result. How will it show up? Who knows - temper tantrums, being mean to her new/old sister, screaming, not listening, could be anything. For our latest adoption, we didn't even get a honeymoon period that lasted through the visits, it was really only 2 days. But, if you stick by her she'll eventually feel safe and start to heal, which is just the coolest thing to watch.

Good luck!