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"Not saying that your daughter will be an exact replica of how you were, but I am a very strong believer that personality and how we deal with things is genetic." ~Dickons
I couldnt have said that better myself. I am a huge supporter of genetic memory theory, especially after my younger sister met her birth parents. Now is not the time or place to get into that though.
My advice is going to echo the advice you've already been given though. I would contact her a-parents first. Let them break the news, and see how she feels about it. I think the connection would be much healthier if you went about it that way. They will respect you for recognising their role in you b-daughters life, and there will be less hard feelings.
Also, not to sound stalkerish, but have you checked myspace/facebook/twitter/etc... You may be able to mine some information out of there as well. I know very few 18 yo's that dont frequent one of those sites. May be worth a shot. I wouldnt attempt contact thru one of those, but it may satisfy some curiosity till you do hear back from them.
I'm also going to say this from an adoptee point of view. There is never a right time. There is always things going on. Life is far to short to wait for the perfect moment because chances are that you will be looking so hard for that moment that you will miss it as it flashes by. I started to talk to the agency that placed me 5 years ago, but stopped thinking that I would be intruding on their lives. Now 5 years later I find out that she's looking for me. What I'm trying to get is that you will just eat yourself up with curiosity if nothing else if you dont at least toss the question out there.
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