[kakuehl]

Lalgee, thanks for taking your courage in both hands and posting here. While it is true that ALL of us live with the consequences of our actions, it doesn't not mean that we can't hold our heads high as people of worth. I wonder how many couples are infertile as a result of early sex. (STD's can be silent destroyers of fertility. Scar tissue after an abortion can make one infertile, etc..etc.) Sometimes the only difference between the amother and the bmother is that the birth mother "got caught."

I speak as a pastor and Christian (just so you know where I'm coming from), I believe that all of us sin and bear the consequesnces of our actions. I also believe that we are loved unconditionally by God who does not consider one sin worse than another. I know that God forgives me and loves me, regardless of what people say or think about me. Even though I am forgiven, I still have to live with what I have done. I live with the effects of adoption forever. I have found it's hardest to forgive myself.

I found my birthson when he was 32; he responded on his 33rd birthday. We have been in reunion 3 1/2 years at this point. He has told me that if I had found him when he was 18 or even 25, our reunion would not have gone as well as it has. I guess what I'm saying is don't give up hope. And don't let anyone else define you.

By the way, not all, but most adoptees who post here seem to feel a need to at least know something of their heritage and the woman who gave birth to them. (So much for what the LAW declares.)