Lalgee - I cannot thank you enough for sharing your thoughts and experiences with us. You're really brave for being so honest and forthcoming. You've said some things tonight that I haven't dared breathe out of fear of being knocked down and villified.
I'm so sorry that a member of these forums left such a harsh statement for you on your journal. Some people just don't get it at all -- they're so stuck on themselves that they have no clue what they're talking about.
No, you do NOT have to be punished for the rest of your life for having committed the crime of bringing a child into this world outside of marriage and doing what society demanded of us back then. For pete's sake, you were 14 years old...a baby yourself. You were a kid making adult decisions, and now you're being blamed for those decisions. Enough is enough -- 26 years have passed...that's long enough to do penance, IMO.
You have just as much right as anybody else on this planet to have your own needs, feelings, and desires addressed. You have the right to be happy, and you have the right to be heard. Above all, you have the right to heal.
It's been 37 years now for me, living under the judgments of people who didn't even know me as the young girl I was when I relinquished my son. You ask if we'll always have to pay the price for being young and foolish...I suspect we will, for there will always be people eager to condemn us for their problems. We're an easy group to scapegoat, to blame, to judge. That's why it's so darn important that we be able to share with each other, and to help each other heal from the madness and pain.
If you ever need to talk, don't hesitate to send me a PM. That goes for any other birth/first mom out there who's lurking and too afraid to post. I promise I won't bite, lol.
