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18 is still young and very impressionable. And also, as we all know, an age of great drama. There are so many things going on in the life of a teen these days that it is hard to get hit with too many waves.
imho I'd give it a few more years. From what I've seen of other adoptees where their biological parents stayed together, there tends to be great resentment. It almost seems that the best scenario, if there is one, is that of a single mother with no support from the BF giving up her baby to a couple who will be able to give them a better life. It may not be the best scenario but it usually is the most forgivable. As an adoptee I will say that it is all about the adoptee and adoptees are the ones who have to forgive for any reunion or contact to be successful.
I just want to make sure that you understand that if you do ever have contact with her, the biggest question that she will have is "Why did you put me up for adoption and then stay together." It will only be compounded if you have other children.
I'd say just keep track of her on myspace, facebook, etc... and in the course of time, make contact when you may think that you are ready. If she doesn't know that she is adopted then there will certainly be a firestorm when she does find out. Another person on here is dealing with a 1/2 sister who was put up for adoption and just found out at a late age that she is adopted. The adoptee is lashing out quite a bit as would be expected.
You have a fine line to walk. The aparents are somewhat hostile and there is the unknown as to if she knows whether or not she is adopted. Just be careful.
Best wishes.
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