Hey guys!
I agree with Kathy that it's definately got to be PTSD. It's just so strange how it manifested itself differently. You know it's scary to me how "gone" those memories are. Just gone....wiped cleaner than a blackboard.
Huh. Just now I remember a friend of mine whom I visited and helped several hours after she had an abortion. There was this look in her face....just a sort of lost insanity. That's the only way I can describe it.
I know it's not near the same of course but I've wondered if my face looked like that.
The "gone-ness" scares me because it's like a part of my only experience with my children has been obliterated by my own psyche. And it's so important to have all the pieces there. It's like a sort of testimony that I'm no longer in possession of.
Does that make sense?
[b]Kathy[b] I am thinking how much guts it took to make that demand at such a vulnerable moment!! Kudos to you on that!! And then that social worker hanging around like you were some sort of criminal or something! Good grief!!
Quantum I'm so sorry you were treated like that by those social workers.
((( Quantum )))
I didn't realize too that you were like me; alone at court without family or parents. You probably told me that at some point but I've blocked it out. Weird.
As stupid as this will sound, thank you for saying that a judge asked you if you were sane, etc. I was beginning to get a little paranoid.
I've just realized something too. At 17, I was considered old enough by the law to relinquish my parental rights without my own parents there to guard those rights. Yet I wasn't considered old enough to vote or to drink or what-have-you. Not that I would've drank anyway. I wasn't much for liquor even back then. Still....what kind of baloney is that?
Another thing you guys....why is it that the bdad's didn't have to be in court? They could come into the office and sign a piece of paper at CSS but they didn't have to go before a judge and a massive bank of attorney's and testify to their sanity. What's up with that?