[kakuehl]

I suspect we're talking PTSD here. Let's face it: this was major trauma for you both times. The second time going blank probably helped you go through it.

As I've told you, I didn't go to the courthouse. I signed some papers in the hospital and some in an office in Westminster MD. (It could have been an annex to the court house, but there was definitely not a judge or lawyer present. Just the social worker.)

Since I'd refused to sign the final papers without seeing D again, what I mostly remember is being frustrated because the SW wouldn't leave the room for a few minutes at least. Maybe she thought I'd run with him. She stayed there while I held him and fed him and he fell asleep. She did finally let me have a couple minutes with him after I signed the final papers. I wish I had copies of those papers!