GeeGee,
Sooo... has it gotten easier with time?
I read your post and you described sooo well how I feel when I see these galleries. I'd bring home a whole housefull of kids, if i could...
Like the others, I had to let reality set in on what my husband and I can parent best. For me, I have worked with kids with profound disabilities and work full time as an autism therapist... BUT I had to be honest about my abilities to parent a child with such needs forever, and my husband had to do the same. He was so afraid I'd think lesser of him for saying that he couldnt. But, the compassion and risk I saw in his vulnerability of trying to be a good daddy to whoever, I got the same wake up call for us both. So, it's a matter really of what kids can our family raise best.
Beyond the special needs, the number of kids is still something that catches my eye. We know we want a sibling group of two... well he knows we want a sibling group of two, I keep thinking with my southern hospitality "the more the merrier". The rules that you can put three kids per standard room, and sometimes four in a large room keeps screaming when i see sib groups of three or four.
But it always goes back to what we can realistically do as parents. It's so hard. I'm with you, I go back and forth between feeling selfish and feeling realistic. Cuz, when it boils down to it... we're like you in that we want to be not just any parents, but GOOD parents. And we want a family.