[Jody M]

Hi Idaho nurse and thanks for sharing your adoption reunion journey with your birth family. Your adoption journey is very similar to mine, being raised in a great adoptive family and then reuniting as an adult. I also found that my birth siblings had a challenging childhood. Both of my birth parents had issues with alcohol and after I was born, my birth mother abandoned the family. It was life-changing to meet my 3 birth sisters and have them welcome me into their lives 15 years ago. My reunion also filled my heart with gratitude for the family I was blessed to be raised by. It humbled me to realize that "by the grace of God there go I". Knowing that I could have been one of the daughters who stayed in the family, made me realize that I would be a different person, had I not been adopted. How could I ever judge another person again? Children do not choose the circumstances of birth and/or adoption that shape their lives. They do not have control over their past or the adults decisions that impacted their future. But as adults we do have the choice to strive to understand our past and reframe our attitudes with the truth we learn. As an adoption triad support group leader for 13 years, I have witnessed that some adoptees become either "bitter" or "better" when learning about their birth/adoption history. But as many of them attend support groups and meet birth parents and adoptive parents, they come to understand the circumstances that created a need for their adoption. Many come to an acceptance of the past- the final stage in grieving a loss and heal and walk to the future with a new emotional freedom.