[Janeytwo]

Yesterday I came over to my brother’s house to find him sitting on his front porch talking with his neighbors. His neighbors were just one more couple who’d lost their jobs, couldn’t find work and were losing their home. They were beating themselves up pretty bad because their kids wanted to play softball but it wasn’t happening; not this year. They’d had to look into their kids faces and apologize for not having enough money for the extra things. Times had come down to simple survival. They had to eat.

After they left I sat with my brother awhile just talking. I spoke of my eldest daughter. She and her husband had done everything right; gotten Masters Degrees; worked in high-paying white collar jobs. In the end though, none of it mattered. They were now on the same train to nowhere as everyone else, lost jobs, lost home, letting go of dreams, heading for a renters existence.

I told my brother it was just so depressing because my one hope for my kids was that they’d make it out. That they’d never see what me and my brother had seen. I looked over at my brother and said, “I guess we ain’t the only ones in that boat no more are we, bro? A lottah people are in there with us these days.”

He looked down at his shoes and said, “Yep.” Then he grinned at me, elbowed my side and said, “Remember that time when we made dessert out of some old coffee mate ‘n water?”

We both laughed. Those had been some days. Short on food but long on love of family. All my siblings and I would go out and play 4 square in the street.

It made me feel a little better. Still, I’m scared ya know? I asked my brother where he thought things were going. He said he didn’t know but that he was along for the ride anyhow. “I mean, what choice do we got, Janey? What? Roll over and die? Nah…don’t think so. Mom’d kick our a**!”


Hang ups, let downs,
Bad breaks, set backs,
Natural fact is
I can’t pay my taxes
Make me wanna holler
The way they do my life
Yeah make me wanna holler
The way they do my life
Panic spreading
God knows where we’re heading………….

Inner City Blues, Marvin Gaye