Hey XDad,
Man what a mess! It sounds like you're really being put through the ringer.
First let me say I agree 100% with Quantum. I wouldn't delete the bmom from my Facebook account if I were you. Manipulative people look for any advantage to prove themselves right and everyone else wrong. I suspect that if you delete her, she'll go straight to your dd and use that as proof to back up her lies; to say that you really don't care after all.
I'd just let her sit there too if it were me. If she contacts you on Facebook, politely respond and let it go at that. Never give the gunman more ammo, ya know?
Also - don't delete her! Keep every single piece of correspondence you get from her from this point on. You may need it to show to your dd later.
IMO - Whatever you do, don't call her to sort things out. You can't change people; you can only accept who they are and operate from that knowledge. Trust me, I've learned that one the hard way.
((( XDad ))) I am sorry that this woman told such terrible lies and that it is your daughter who is paying the price for that.
Feel your anger, work through it, accept it and then hang tough my friend.
Your only priority is your future relationship with your daughter. I would try my best - even when you're boiling mad - to keep the focus on that and take it off the craziness of the bmom and her husband.
Hope I've been of some help.
Have a better one!
hey god, there's nothing left for me to hide
i lost my ignorance, security and pride
i'm all alone in a world you must despise
hey god, i believed the promises, the promises and lies
terrible lie
NIN