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The answers to your question may differ by agency, but I'll share some thoughts.
In our experience, the weight/height calculations were done during the physician checkup, which was during the home study phase. So before you send documents to Korea. The BMI is based on what you weigh that day. If weight loss needs to be done, that's something to do soon.
The timeframes are hard to estimate, but most agencies we looked at for Korea had a shorter timeframe than you described (shorter than 24 months).
Most referrals are for boys. Some agencies let you pick the gender if you already have a child, but not if it's the first child.
Our agency does allow concurrent applications with Korea and other countries, or at least China (maybe others, too).
I am not sure how much these issues may differ by agency.
Good luck!
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