I just wanted to give everyone an update on our reunion. We met with DS birthmother twice during our trip. We saw them first for about two hours on mother's day at a small zoo. She was really happy to see him but was very hesitant to hold or touch him. I was nervous at first but quickly realized she was more nervous when she made her boyfriend (not bio-dad) make all the arrangements because she was too anxious to talk on the phone with me. I gave her a small gift on mother's day of some framed pictures of DS.
We saw them again a few days later at their house and were able to spend more time together. She was able and I guess ready to interact with him more although he clearly knew who his mommy was and was not inclined to be held by an unfamiliar person as most 13 month olds are. There was initially talk that biodad might come by but he never did. birthmom seemed surprised that he had never contacted us after she had given him all our contact information. I had hoped for more from him because our son already has a half-brother (less than a year apart!!) and I really wanted to see some pictures and be able to have more info for my son about his sibling. I think DS is a closely guarded secret from his extended biological family and I don't know when that big secret will be revealed. I guess that is a subject for another day.
Sorry to prattle on. In short, the reunion was great, I love my son's birthmom and wish her the best. I had nothing to fear as far as my place in my son's life and in fact felt more secure after the visit.
