[Roosmama]

The problem with the term "birth mother" is that it is offensive to many women who have chosen adoption for their children. Some women feel that it cheapens their role in the triad. Do a Google search on the term, and you'll see what I mean. Personally, I believe terminology is all in what we make of it. But for the same reason that I don't like and won't use the label "natural mother," I respect that DS's biological mother doesn't want to be called his "birth mother." She is his first mother, and I am his forever mother (not second mother). It's an important distinction. We also use the term biological because that is technically correct and is also the only term we use to discuss his biological father. (A father does not give birth.)

Ultimately, it's about respecting the other members of the triad. Adoption is a very positive choice for women facing an unplanned pregnancy. As adoptive parents, we should do whatever we can to promote it as such. If that requires changing the terminology, then so be it.