My brother found my daughter & son about 5 years ago. They were removed due to drugs, and I did not get my act together until 3-4 years later...of course they were gone..and I never really fought for them. Though i sent presents and letters until told to stop. I knew I was in no shape to raise and give them what they needed.
Anyway,I sent a letter and email address and she responded. Unfortunately my son committed suicide. On the other hand, she was teaching and started her master.Yeah she is supporting herself and outwardly looks like she is doing well.
But few contact's with me...I continued to send Happy new year, christmas....emails.....(
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Not what I dreamed or hoped for....
Common sense tells me...duh you were not in her life...for 20 years... you are an addict certainly nothing to be proud of.....Hey I found my drug addict mom.... The rational side, says But wait you are a beautiful person to meet....
Today, I have my master, private practice, two other children, great husband...a 180, a productive person...
But the emotional...the parent bond ....the love... cries out for more...the pain is horrible..... The error in my ways...
she has her own life and I am not a part of it nor does she want me to be... How do you become ok with it..time....