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It's hard to know what to do with my daughter that's for sure. One minute I'm wanting the no contact and the next she's making me feel guilty for thinking like that and not wanting to talk to her.
She's a complicated person. She tells me that I have a lot of drama in my life that she can't handle and that I am sometimes too much for her.
I know I have a lot going on in my life but I don't think telling her about it is putting any drama into it. I've tried to keep her up on what's going on in our family because she said she wanted to know and then when I do tell her (in the shortest way I can and not like I tell you guys here all the details of stuff) she tells me I've got too much drama.
I don't know. I just know I can't deal with being ignored until I have money for her or presents or whatever. I wish those things didn't get her talking to me but her wanting to know what's going on and tell me about her.
I don't have a problem with going awhile without talking. It's just when I see her online and she ignores my messages that it bothers me.
I have a son I raised who doesn't talk to me sometimes for a month or more and I'm ok with that because people get busy and no one can be available all the time. But when I do call my son he doesn't ignore me. He might cut the conversation short but he never ignores me. He calls me occasionally and talks about whatever is on his mind. He doesn't always have a "reason" go call. He just calls me to talk.
My daughter on the other hand can't be depended on. She told me the last time when I told her I was going to end our contact that she promised not to drop out of sight again and if she didn't want to chat at a particular time she'd at least tell me and not ignore me. She just can't keep that promise and I'm just tired of waiting on her to grow up.
There definitely is drama in her life. I won't go into all of it but it's bad but I would still be there for her if she needed me. I just don't understand her at all.
Either she wants me in her life or she doesn't. I wish she'd make up her mind. I can't deal with yo-yo stuff and I guess I just have to make the decision for myself. I just don't know what I'm going to do yet.
Rylee
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