I am so sorry you are going through this. No matter what, no matter how prepared you think you are for placing a child for adoption (and I thought I was totally prepared), it is never easy, not by a long shot.
I must agree with the others in saying please consider counseling. And keep coming here and "talk" to us! There are many wise women who have traveled the same path and are so helpful. Keeping it all bottled up inside is not the answer.
Did you place through an agency? What type of adoption do you have (closed/semi-open/open)???
I know for me, counseling helped tremendously, as did getting my feelings out through creative expression. You don't have to understand your feelings, even if they don't seem to make sense, just get them out. Do you like to write/journal? That can be extremely helpful in getting feelings out. I find also knowing other birthmoms and communicating with them (both online and in person) is so helpful. If there are any birthmom or triad support groups in your area, I would highly recommend going.
