[dklevy]

Welcome. This is a great place to let it all out and know that the advice and support you get comes from people who know and not people who are imagining what you are going through. I just joined and although it's painful to face everything, we have to face it in order to heal because time really doesn't heal these wounds.

I am not so sure I really thought about the emotional consequences of my actions I don't think any of of could have imagined what it's like no matter how much thought we put into it or how much guidance we got.

I convinced myself that he was not my baby SE was never "my" baby, she was always "our" baby. Made the good-bye easier even though it was still nearly unbearable.

It seems as each year passes it hurts moreI feel the same way. Finding where she lives helped. Writing her parents helped. Not getting a response certainly didn't help.

I know the forum can't do all a real person can. It can't hold you as you cry. But I hope it helps you to sort everything out and to realize you shouldn't feel guilty about how you feel. We have no control over our feelings only what we do with them.