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Originally Posted by RavenSong
From this experience, I know that I matter as a human being. But I don't think I matter as a birthmother, not really. I don't think that what I have to say matters very much, mainly because times have changed; the experiences and reasons behind those experiences belong to those of us who are growing old. We are from another era, one that will soon just be remembered in history books.
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Originally Posted by RavenSong
I like the idea of having a refuge where I can express my own feelings, explore my own needs, where I can share with women who know what it's like to be thrown into solitary confinement with a life sentence. But somehow when I try to do this on very specific birthmom-support threads, I am often reminded that I don't really matter...that it's not about me...that I must always think first about the needs and feelings of others who aren't in my cellblock. I am serving a lifelong sentence, one of my own doing, and I cannot find that refuge I've been desperately seeking. I am a phantom, a ghost in the darkness.
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I gotta tell you Raven, if it weren't for your posts when I first found this site..... I would still be in the darkness. Your posts have helped me in ways that I can't even articulate. I thought no one could understand what was going on with me... then I read your posts. Even though I am not from the closed era, your words were like a life line being thrown to me. I was able to come out and begin the rest of my journey out of the darkness. I think birth mom support threads are the most healing, whether it is here or elsewhere. Birth moms need the support of others to get through the rough times. No one else in the world understands like another birth mom.
Raven.... you matter as a birth mom! You are making a difference!!! You may not 'see' it, but you are definately reaching people who need to hear your words!
You have made a HUGE difference in my life. I was desperate by the time I finally found this site and I am deeply grateful for the birth moms here! I am scared to death to think of where I'd be without you!!!