As an adoptee born in 1967 ( closed era) I think bmoms are real. As I stated before, I was born in 67 and my adoption was closed, I searched when I was expecting my first born, and I wanted medical info. I later found and met my bparents and got to know them-they are nice people. I now have a relationship with them that includes my children ( they are grandma & grandpa).
However, my aparents will always be "mom & dad", my parents. To me, if my bparents weren't people that I would normally associate myself with I wouldn't invite them into my life. My bparents were two teenagers when they had me-they were too young to take care of themselves, let alone a baby. I am grateful that God blessed me with good aparents. They always told me that my bparents loved me and wanted the best for me-which was true. Because of my aparents saying nice things about my bparents, and later it being true, it made it " easier" after I met them to see them as nice 'real' people.
Each of us (adoptees) has a different perspective of who we are and who is "real" to us.
Even in an OA I'm sure the adoptee knows who is "mom &dad" and who is bmom & bdad" because of the roles they have in the child's life thus ,making them both real to the child. They just have different roles.
-Manni
