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We are all real, you cut any one of us - each of us will bleed, we say something that triggers something in another - they bleed, we see them bleed, we bleed in turn...yup we are all real and have one very large commonality, adoption.
I too am disturbed, saddened and angry by the blurring of the lines between mothers from the closed era and those mothers of today whose children removed by the state for abuse that has been proven...That blurring should be something we all fight against vigorously, there is no commonality whatsoever between being forced (because society ensured there were NO OPTIONS) to sign papers taking away a mothers right to raise her child simply because she has been judged by society as unfit because she is not married.
The same blurring occurs with mothers who chose adoption because they had no support system or family they could turn to to help them get established. Again, there is no commonality whatsoever with mothers whose children have been removed by the state for abuse that has been proven. For those mothers we should have compassion but they are not anywhere close to being true mothers who have lived with and continue to live with for their entire lives the pain and anger of losing a child to adoption because they had no other option.
My mother has always been real to me but I will never meet her, get to know her, be hugged by her or talk to her because I was too late...that is my regret and one I will take to my grave. That I was not strong enough, smart enough, or vocal enough to find her before she died and neither was she...that is tragic and did not need to be and I do judge society harshly for that.
Why can't love just be enough? Can't society understand that?
Warm regards,
Dickons
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