Amanda
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Janey- I don't think that sarcasm is warranted, nor is it especially appreciated.
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Don't worry about it. I could've spoken better. Look this stuff is tough and we are all raw in tender places.
Let me say this generally - not towards anyone person specificially,
There is a lot that I can tolerate in people's misunderstandings and/or judgements of birthmothers. Most of those judgements are made out of pain, some out of ignorance. All of them are made by us humans and us humans are flawed.
But one thing I cannot do is sit by while someone explains to me the ramifications behind the
act of signing - I'm talking about the act itself.
I do not need anyone lecturing me on the legalities and finalities behind my decision to relinquish. I was in full use of my faculties when I signed and understood what I was signing. To have anyone infer that I now need relinquishment explained to me is, quite frankly, insulting.
That moment when I signed. No one and nothing is going to take that from me. It's not going to happen.
Then - not only am I being talked down to as if I'm an imbecile; then people are unknowingly providing wiggling room for excuses that I personally refuse to make. I will own my decision to my deathbed. There are two people out there who -
at the very least - deserve that much.
I must and I do accept that signing gave someone else the right to be a parent to my son and daughter.
Only a fool would not know that and that is a fool I would never want to be.
In closing, even people here who detest me will have to stand witness that I am the last person on this earth who would expect my son and daughter's parents to take a back seat to me. I am the last person on this earth who would expect my son and daughter to call me their "real" mom - let alone "mom". What they call me, how they feel about me is their business and I will respect that.