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White Elephant,
I am so, SO sorry. I thought I was the only one dealing with totally insensitive CHRISTIAN parents that withheld information from me, lied to me, and have acted like my adoption and my feelings are totally irrelevant. I found out I was adopted in September of 2006 after I graduated high school and started college. I had a hunch and started doing some super sleuthing. Long story short, I cornered my adoptive mom and hit her with the fact that I already knew and that I wanted answers. She lied and lied. Told me no one knew. The story then changed. It was such a tragedy. My dad didn't even have the decency to come home that night and even see how I was. I ended up getting kicked out of the house (to this day I have no idea why, and they deny that they "kicked me out") I'm 21 now and it's terrible the amount of insensitivity that I receive. I just came off of a horrible Mother's Day, one of the three depressing days of the year for most adoptees, and I still wonder how it's possible for people to be so uninterested in the fact that we're hurting everyday about this. They've said terrible things to me "You should be grateful!" "The only reason that you're here is because of me!" "Go find your real parents and see if they'll support you!" My adoptive aunt even said to my sister at one point that I was just "A product of their good will" I really feel your pain and I know how terribly frustrating it is to see such acts of insensitivity and down right cruelty upfront everyday. It's okay though. I've become extremely self-sufficient ( a defense mechanism, most likely) and as much as it pains me to deal with this alone, I do. My girlfriend is so supportive, but the effects of adoption are very deep and having people that don't even show interest in you is even more devastating. I really hope you can find it to confide in yourself more and find solid, positive help. I firmly believe that adopted adults that have had poor experiences with foster parents absolutely have the right to remove the negative influences and pick and choose people to be around us that will encourage healing. I hope that you can find this. I'd love to hear more about your situation and i wish you well. Don't explode over there! You're not alone...
Best Wishes,
Manoleus
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