Quantum Hey Bud!
I meant to reply to this earlier but things got kind of hectic today. So here I am!
I just read in the other thread that your SIL isn't doing too good. Please keep me posted okay. I will be thinking about you and your family and praying for some good news.
Quote:
I've come to realise that I can't change him. I am starting to understand at least a bit as to what triggers him to attack me, but I'm still struggling with how to deal with it. It brings me down and I don't know how to not let it.
I can't confront him, he just becomes more agressive. Just beats down my already bruised self esteem. *sigh*
|
That's all right that you can't confront him, buddy. That's okay.
Ya know, it takes years sometimes with family to see triggers and first you have to acknowledge that the triggers are there and that people can have that kind of effect on us.
That doesn't make us flawed which I have to remind myself of on a minute-by-minute basis some days. And on the days when I don't remember that, I have my dear friends in here to say, "Hey! Janey! Get off your own back and be kind too yourself!!"
((( Q ))) When we're little girls, daddy is our prince, our first love, our everything. And then they say things.....see it's the words....it's the words that really kill. I had been telling someone in here that on another thread.
Words can kill a person. Maybe...maybe not kill them as in take their life, but it can kill a person's belief in themself, damage who they are at the very core of who they are.
If you hear a thing long enough, you begin to believe it.
And, sure, there are those who say "Eh! I don't care what so-and-so thinks." Yeah well, that's only half true because somewhere out there is a so-and-so that they do care about.
The old adage "The Pen is Mightier Than The Sword" still holds. That's why there is so much censorship in dictator countries, because words move people.
Telling a little girl, then a young girl, then a young woman that she is worthless or whatever horrible thing our fathers said....that chips away at self confidence.
I fear the day my dad dies because he told me over and over that he was going to kill himself because of me, because I was such a selfish worthless thoughtless terrible child.
That's still back there.
Yes, I can rationalize it. Tell myself through logic that that is rediculous.
Yes, I can put my ego in there and say something like, "Good luck at your new location"
But the heart? The heart is something else again. The heart is where we keep our dreams, our love, our devotion, our hopes, our desire to be the best for people we love.
That little muscle deep inside the ribcage has a logic and ego all it's own.
And it takes time to heal it.
((( Quantum )))) You are a talented, kind, compassionate, intelligent, fabulous person!!!
Just in case you didn't know!
