[belleinblue1978]

I am a mother, no matter what anyone tells me. I nurtured Kiddo in my womb for nine months, nine of the most painful months of my life I might add, had a c-section (not easy to recover from, my friends that delivered vaginally recovered much more quickly), saw him through six weeks of hospitalization, making all of his medical decisions while the doctors treated me like a drug abusing prostitute, refusing to answer my questions and at one point even implying that I have a low IQ. I love that little boy more than life. He is the only child I will ever have, I refuse to be anything less than his mother.

OA is a step in the right direction, I agree, but make no mistake, it is not a welcoming into the adoptive family for every first parent. I have been told that I am NOT Kiddo's family in no uncertain terms. Forget that he is the only biological family that I truly know, forget that I brought him to this earth and that I made his parents his parents. OA can be a very hard, very painful road, just as closed adoption.

I have two sets of very "real" parents. I do have some flip responses for when people ask if I have found my "real" mom and dad. I give them that, stop them in their tracks and then politely explain that all of my parents are real, they just have different roles (albeit not much for my firstmom) in my life.

I will always speak out as an adopted adult and a first parent. I refuse to be silenced. I am a sum total of my experiences and obviously adoption plays a large role in that. I continue to speak proudly of my son and my experiences and always will.