[Birthmom12_10_2008]

It annoys me to no end to hear someone refer to the adoptive parents as the real parents. I agree completely that it makes the birth parents look like they don't matter and they didn't do anything, when in fact, if it weren't for the birth parents the kid wouldn't be here.

It also pisses me off because in most cases the child was conceived out of wedlock and it makes the birth parents look like horrible people, and the adopitve parents look like saints, when I can assure you that everyone in the triad has probably done something to make them look bad at one time or another. So that holier than though attitude just pisses me off, and makes me want to smack someone and scream at them that nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes, or have times of bad judgement.

I think birth parents are just as "real" as adoptive parents. Sure we aren't parenting, but that doesn't mean we don't care for and love that child any less than the adoptive parents. Like I said, the adoptive parents wouldn't even have a child if it weren't for the birth parents.