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I think one of the things that really bothers me about the 'real' mother comments is that we have it drilled into us that we are making the kind of 'true sacrifice that a good mother can make' in giving up our children for a chance of a better life.
I guess I like the idea of open adoptions. I like the idea of the birth/first mother being welcomed into the adoptive family as someone to share in the experiance of watching a child grow. Although it's tough. I can also sort of understand the idea of the 'real' mother being the one who stays up all night cleaning up vomit and so on. But I guess personally I think of my son's amom as his mom no 'real' in front of it. I am also his mom, but it's different.
I don't understand why people feel the need to push all this. 'the mom who raised me' 'the mom who gave birth to me' Those phrases don't phase me.
What do I want people to know about me as a birthmom?
YES it was my choice.
YES it was probably the right choice
but that doesn't mean it hasn't affected me and that it hasn't been HARD
That's some initial thoughts!
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