[MilehighDad]

Congratulations! Sounds like it went great!

I'm really concerned about the way the SW's are handling these boys, though. I thought there were established guidelines about introducing kids to parents, but they aren't following anything I've ever heard of. There is always a significant threshold of "believability" that you have to overcome, particularly with older kids. In other words, you have to convince the kids that this is really going to happen and you are really going to be their parents. Having visits with multiple parents and then picking and choosing is only going to make all the parents look bad in different ways and I think it will undermine your ability to convince the kids that this is for real. Yes, at that age the kids need to "buy in" to their placement, but I don't think they should be given the impression that they are completely in control of the process.

Well, sorry for adding more worries, but maybe you can at least say to the worker that you want to form a solid base with them and a commitment and that is hard to do when the decision is uncertain about where they will be placed.

Still, I think it's great that the meeting went well. Be sure to be honest with yourself and your spouse about their issues and your capability to meet their needs. In my mind, this is your chance to decide to go forward or not, and it needs to be a good one that you can live with for the rest of your life. If you have any concerns, these boards have lots of information on what it is like to live with some of the issues you may face. Unfortunately, there are not as many stories about when things go well, because it is human nature to seek support and share when it's hard and less likely when it's easy.

Yay!